Is Angie Sanclemente Valencia drug beauty queen?

Eva Mendes is licking her lips, and trying to get her option money out, this morning at the Daily Mail's story of a former lingerie model turned cocaine queenpin, now on the lamb from the Federales. Can you say, passion project? Angie Sanselmente Valencia just became every guy with an expense account and a habit's dream girl. The 30-year-old bombshell learned her trade while dating a Mexican drug lord called "The Monster," but left him to start her own drug trafficking empire.

Valencia, taking a page from the Silvio Berlusconi Employee Handbook, only hired other “glamor models” to be her drug mules ponies. Valencia was based in Buenos Aires, and her people flew the stuff to Cancun, then into Britain, where it would presumably help Kate Moss get through dinner. According to the article, her ponies wouldn’t bother hiding the large amounts of coke they were smuggling, because they were told no one would stop them. But if we were a lonely (and lowly) airport security guy, nothing would thrill us more than looking through a beautiful woman’s personal belongings. We also know that if we found 55kg of cocaine in said suitcase, we probably wouldn’t say anything, because beautiful women terrify us.

Anyway, they did stop someone, and that someone talked. Now Valencia is somewhere in Argentina trying not to look like the baddest chick ever, Eva Mendes is on the phone with her manager, and we have a new crush.